Loving Your G-Spot
No topic in sexuality draws more attention or interest than the infamous G-Spot. Everyone has heard about the mind-blowing orgasms that come with finding your G-Spot, and everyone wants to have them. Unfortunately, this sensationalism has done us a bit of a disservice. While G-Spot play can be fun for many people, it's not for all. If you don't think you've found your G-Spot, don't think you've been deprived — it is possible to have mind-blowing sex without G-Spot stimulation. But if you want to know more about it, here are the answers to the questions we are most often asked about the G-Spot.
Does it even exist? Does everyone have one?
Yes, it does exist and yes, we all have one! The G-Spot (or Grafenberg spot, after the doctor who identified it) is a real anatomical area inside the vagina. Whether a person finds stimulation of this area exciting or not is another story.
What is it?
The G-Spot is a place in the vagina above the urethral sponge (spongey tissue that wraps around our urethra - the tube you pee through). When you press on the G-Spot, you are pressing against that sponge, which may make you feel like you have to go pee.
Where is the G-Spot?
It is located on the front wall of the vagina, a small way, perhaps an inch or two, inside the vagina, not far past the vaginal opening. Every person's body is different, so don't get out the measuring tape! It is a small area that may feel different, smoother in texture, than the rest of your vagina. During sexual arousal, this spot can swell slightly. You may not be able to locate it just by feeling with your fingers. The best way to find it is to gently press different spots in that general area until you find a place where pressing on it makes you feel like you need to pee or makes you feel like you want to keep pressing it.
What will happen when I find it?
No, fireworks will not go off! We have been led to believe that we can "hit the G-Spot" and have an unbelievable orgasm. Once you have located, or think you have located, your G-Spot, try stroking or rubbing it with firm pressure. Many women find that a "come here" motion with their fingers feels pleasurable. This kind of movement may feel very pleasurable and lead to an intense orgasm, but it will likely take at least several minutes of consistent stroking and pressure.
What if it doesn't work?
Don't be disappointed if you don't have an earth-shattering orgasm. You may not feel much of anything, or you may not like the way it feels. This may be because:
- You may be in the wrong spot — often, we are aiming too far up the vagina. Try moving downward and make sure you are massaging the front wall of the vagina (towards your belly, not your back).
- You may need to try different kinds of stimulation — try stroking, pressing, rubbing, or even vibration.
- You may not find the sensation pleasurable — for some people, the sensation of G-Spot stimulation is no big deal or it actually feels uncomfortable. Focus on the things that you do find pleasurable and explore them.
How can my partner reach it?
The best way is with their fingers. If you want to experience a G-Spot orgasm during penetration with a penis, make sure that their penis is angled towards the front of your vagina and that they are moving the head, at least part of the time, along the front wall fairly close to the opening. Both of you can move your bodies and your pelvises around to achieve this. Some people have orgasms from G-spot pressure during sex all the time and don't even realize it because this is what their orgasms often feel like. Keep in mind that very hard and deep thrusting will almost certainly not reach your G-Spot.
What about toys?
I've heard that people with vaginas ejaculate when they have a G-Spot orgasm is that true?
This is another thing the porn industry has led us astray on. Some people do ejaculate, yes. Many more don't. It is not a trick that you need to learn to perform. The amount of fluid that is expelled is usually much, much less than you often hear described. Researchers are still uncertain as to what the fluid really is and where it comes from. The bottom line is, if you ejaculate, then that's what your body does and that's great! If you don't ejaculate, then that's what your body does, and that's great! Appreciate yourself for who you are. If you do ejaculate, understand that researchers are quite certain it is not urine. Don't worry that you are peeing yourself (but even if you are peeing yourself, if you are having fun, is that really such a bad thing?).
For an excellent resource on G-Spot play, check out The Smart Girl's Guide to the G-Spot by Violet Blue.