Music to Wank By

In celebration of International Masturbation Month, I give you a list of songs about touching yourself.  You're welcome.

I Touch Myself - the Divynls

Let's just get this one out of the way right from the start.   'When I think about you, I touch myself'.  No mystery about what this song is about.  But it is a very fun song that's almost impossible to love - and having been featured in the first Austen Powers movie didn't hurt either.

 

Blister in the Sun - Violent Femmes

This one is a little more subtle but it's pretty obvious that there are references to self-love in there once you really listen.

 

 

She-Bop - Cyndi Lauper

This is my favorite one, mostly because  I hadn't the slightest clue when this song came out when I was about 14.  I loved this song - but didn't realize what it was about.  It's pretty clear what she's talking about when you listen to the lyrics

Do I want to go out with a lion's roar
Huh, yea, I want to go south and get me some more
Hey, they say that a stitch in time saves nine
They say I better stop or I'll go blind

She-Bop was included in the Parents' Music Resource Centre's 'Filthy Fifteen' list of songs - which eventually led to the parent advisory stickers.  Yep, can't have those teenage girls listening to songs about touching themselves.

 

Love Myself - Hailee Steinfeld

In case you think she means 'love myself' in a typical self-empowerment kind of way, consider these lyrics.

I'm gonna put my body first
And love me so hard 'til it hurts - I know how to scream my own name.

 

 I Don't Need a Man - PussyCat Dolls

This song is about a lot of things, but masturbation is one of them.

I don't need a ring around my finger
To make me feel complete
So let me break it down
I can get off when you ain't around

Darling Nikki - Prince
Admittedly, this song isn't really about masturbation - but it does mention it:

I knew a girl named Nikki, I guess you could say she was a sex fiend.

I met her at a hotel lobby, masturbating with a magazine.

Darling Nikki is more a really great song to masturbate to.

 

Touch of My Hand - Britney Spears

Even if you're not into Britney, or this song, you have to appreciate the unabashed homange to masturbation - more than any of the other songs, this one really gets into the whole idea of self-exploration.

Macy Gray - B.O.B

What is not to love about an ode to a vibrator?

 


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