Other Handy Non-Sexual Uses for Your Silicone Lube
I love silicone lube. I think it is the greatest idea humanity has ever come up with. It lasts and lasts and lasts, never gives you that sticky messy feeling, and it doesn't cause gross nasty infections. It's my favourite thing ever.
However, not all silicone lubes are for everyone, as I found out the other day during coffee with a friend. Seems she had picked up some silicone lube from my place and just wasn't really digging it. She didn't want to throw it in the garbage - we all know silicone lube is not cheap - so she found some other things to do with it.
This inspired me to write this post. As the complete opposite post to yesterdays - things that were not meant to be lube that you shouldn't use as lube, I offer: Other Amazing Things You Can Do With Silicone Lube.
Before I launch into this list, I want to just explain a few things about silicone lube, in case you're not familiar.
silicone lubes are naturally slippery. Dimethicone, and the other types of silicone that are common to these lubes, has a molecular structure that gives it this quality. This means nothing else needs to be added to it. This is why it lasts forever - it is naturally slippery and there is nothing in it that evaporates and disintegrates during use. This is what also allows it to keep its integrity without getting sticky.
The molecular structure of silicone also means that it won't bind to anything else (only itself). This means it doesn't trap and grow bacteria - a very good quality for lube. This also means it's not good on anything made of silicone because it will stick to itself.
Silicone lube does not absorb. It stays on the surface of skin (and whatever else it's on) until it is washed off. This is fantastic for lube because it doesn't actually get into your body. It does mean, however, that it is just a bit of a chore to clean off of surfaces. Keep this in mind with all of the suggestions below. It will need to be washed off with plenty of soap and water.
That being said, here are the wonderful, and unexpected, things you can do with silicone lube
1. Put it in your hair. Thanks to my friend for this suggestion. A lot of conditioners and anti-frizz treatments contain silicone. Because it stays on the surface, it will coat hair fibres and keep them from sticking to each other and collecting static. It also makes hair very shiny and manageable. You want a light touch with this. Spread it very thinly and evenly.
2. Use it on thighs to prevent chafing during running or just general every day activities. Because it doesn't absorb into the skin and makes a super slick, non-friction surface, it's perfect for this.
3. Use a tiny bit to get stuck rings off your fingers. Much less messy than butter and food oils that people often use.
4. Make a slick massage. Some people don't like massage oils, particularly those with very sensitive skin. Silicone makes a perfect slippery surface and it won't cause skin irritation. It must be washed off afterwards because it will just stay on the skin which means you might slide right out of bed.
5. Quiet a squeaky door. Use a wee bit of silicone lube in a creaky door hinge and you'll smooth that sucker right out.
6. Make the most fun (and possibly dangerous) slip in slide in history. Silicone will sit on top of any plastic and make it super slick. Again, you'll need to wash off after. This also works well on garbage bags and crazy carpets for tobogganing in the winter and you don't have to worry as much about cleanup because the lube is on the bottom side.
7. Get out of tight places. When I went to visit the Wet Lubricant factory. The manager there told a story of a man who had let them know that their silicone lube may have saved his life. On the way back from the sex shop, he got into a car accident. His steering wheel was bent just enough that he could not get out of the car. He remembered the Wet Platinum he just bought was there on the passenger seat and used that to loosen his legs and get out of the car. You might want to keep a travel sized one in your glove compartment, just in case.
8. Get ride of lice. No, I'm not making this up. Many drugstore lice treatments contain mostly silicone. Silicone doesn't poison lice, it covers them and makes it hard for them to move and breathe. It's not toxic and it doesn't smell which makes it a better option than many other treatments. Now, I don't recommend that you simply dump a bottle of silicone lube on your head if you think you have lice. You do need to see a health care provider and get a conclusive diagnosis and proper advice about handling it, and you should use something that is specifically made for dealing with lice. But still, it's interesting to know, isn't it?
Of course the very best use for silicone lube is sex. It's amazing for every kind of sex (just not on your silicone toys please). But, if you ever find yourself with any of these needs, perhaps the solution is in your bedside dresser!