Not-so-great Christmas gift ideas

The Christmas season is upon us once again. If you’re thinking of buying a romantic or naughty gift for your sweetie, we’d like to offer you some suggestions of what not to choose. There are some pretty wacky toys out there. Here is our list of the top 5 bad choices for naughty Christmas gifts:

1. The Vortex

This simple little gadget attaches to your vacuum cleaner hose and turns your vacuum into a powerful vibrator. Not to mention, noisy as hell! But perhaps if you’re planning on giving your woman a vacuum cleaner for Christmas, she’ll be a little less pissed off if it comes with a vibrator!

2. The Blowguard

This little marvel is designed to make giving a hummer a song. It’s a silicone mouth guard with a vibrator attached at the end. This one has to be seen to be believed so check out our site for a link. If retainers and bite guards turn you on, you’ll love this one.

3. The Colt Power Stroker

For the man in your life, there’s the Colt Power Stroker. The rubber masturbation sleeve is shaped like a grenade – and no, we are not making this up. Perfect for the guy who’s into war memorabilia! Or not.

4. Vulva Roll-On Fragrance

From the sound of the name, you might think this is another one of those products designed to make women smell ‘fresh’. But no, this is a fragrance that actually smells like vulva. It’s meant to be applied to the back of the hand so guys who loves the smell of a sweaty crotch can get a whiff anytime they want.

5. Hotdoll
And finally, let’s not forget about our furry friends. Hotdoll is a rubber companion for your horny doggie, allowing them to get out their pent-up frustration without the risk of new puppies.