Panties in a Knot about Tieing People Up

I was laid out for the last two days with a back problem and could do nothing but lay around and watch TV. Fortunately, you don't have to surf too many channels to come up with a show giving sex advice. On Monday, it was Tyra Banks. Tyra seems to be on a tyrade (I'm so sorry, I had to do that) lately about women who work in the sex industry. She's had several shows where she brings on women who are porn actresses, strippers or prostitutes and then she and her audience take turns berating them and trying to convince them to quit. She doesn't distinguish between any of these jobs - just labels them all 'sex industry'. I bet Tyra would say I'm in the sex industry too.

This Monday show was particularly bad because the woman she had on was a dominatrix. the point of the show was to try to make her see that she was humiliating her adult daughter and causing her untold psychological damage by doing this for a living. Important to add here that her 21 year-old daughter had no clue that her mother was a dominatrix until she decided to go on the Tyra Banks show. It was clear that her daughter, Tyra Banks, and the entire audience do not understand the psychology of BDSM and what a dominatrix does in spite of this woman's repeated attempts to explain it.

After 15 minutes of berating her, Tyra had a 'family counsellor' give her two cents. This counsellor, who gave no indication that she has an training or experience in sexuality, let alone kink and fetish, was able to diagnose this poor woman as having serious control issues resulting from her becoming a mother too early in life. That's why she needs to do this crazy job that allows her to feel in control. She was also able to tell her that she has a dominant/submissive relationship with her daughter that is dysfunctional. All this after only 15 minutes of knowing her - this counsellor is good!

I don't really understand what the point was here. I thought the woman was quite clear about what she did. She explained it, they showed a few little clips of some of her sessions (probably dramatized), made it clear that she actually doesn't have sex of any kind with any of her clients, and that she provides a services for them - a place for them to act out these fantasies and to get these needs met in a safe and controlled way. But there was no possible way that anyone there could accept that this might be true. Since it has to do with sex, it must be wrong.

They kept coming back to the point that her daughter was so distressed about it. I'm not surprised she was distressed! If I found out at 21 that my mother was a dom and was dragged to a national talk show and shown video of her whipping a guy in a mask, I'd be distressed too! But all she needs is a good heart to heart with her mother who can explain what's going on and allay any fears she has about her safety. If you don't have any exposure to BDSM, it can look very scary from the outside. You just need to have someone show and explain to you what's going on.

What really galls me about this whole thing is that Tyra Banks, of all people, stands there and judges women for using their bodies to get money from men. She even said several times that she thought is was so sad that they felt the only way for them to make a living was to get money from men by using their bodies. Exactly how did Tyra Banks make her fortune? She can try to convince herself that she made her money selling underwear and swimsuits but we all know that it's not women who buy Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition and the Victoria's Secret Catalogue. She sold her body. She was selling a fantasy. She was selling sex. So exactly who is she to judge an exotic dancer or a prostitute for doing the same thing?