Bad Toys, Bad Toys, Whatcha Gonna Do?

I recently bought some discount anal beads from a supplier of ours.  I know, 'discount anal beads' seems like a bad idea; but these are from a company I know well, who's products I generally trust.  Heck, I'd even bought discount anal beads from that company before and was really happy with them.  

Let me be clear what I mean when I say discount.  It happens often that companies will discontinue a line and then the distributor is left with a bunch that they want to sell off quickly because they're bringing in a new line.  Or the distributor ordered too many.  Whatever the reason, it happens often that we can find very good quality toys at a great price.  I buy up these toys in batches and use them for our surprise bags that we sell at events (if you haven't seen these yet, they're awesome!).

Every once in awhile, I make a mistake with my picks.  These beads looked great in the picture but when they arrived, they looked like this:

These beads have a hundred little grooves in them!  I was not expecting that at all!  The picture from the supplier looked like some gentle waves.  Gentle, this is not!  Here's a closer look:

Remember that this is meant to be an anal toy.  Although anal play is generally quite a clean and safe activity, it is common to get just a bit of 'dirt' (read feces/poop) on your anal toys.  This is why they need to be a non-porous material like 100% silicone and you need to wash them thoroughly.

Thoroughly washing something with a hundred little grooves like this is going to be a nightmare!  You would need a toothbrush (hopefully one you're not going to use again) to get this thing clean.  Even then, it's going to take quite a bit of time.  Who wants to spend that much time polishing up their anal beads???

I think I know why these beads were on clearance.  Sadly, we cannot put them in our surprise bags.  They just require way too much care and maintenance to be considered safe to use.

So now I'm trying to think of what I can do with a bunch of useless anal beads. Christmas is right around the corner, I could take a page out of Betty White's book and gift them as jewelry.


Or perhaps we'll string them together and make decorations for our upcoming 10th birthday party.