Disability Pride Month - Tips on Making Sex Work for You
July is disability pride month. As I mentioned before, I'm not a fan of the term 'disability pride'.* But I am a fan of taking this month to put a special focus on the needs and the accomplishments of people living with disabilities. So since sex is what we do, I'm focusing on how great sex can be whether you have a disability or not. For me, it's all about solving problems and being creative. Here are some ideas to help get the creative juices flowing (mmmm....flowing juices is sexy!) around how to make sex work better for you when your body has particular needs.
1. Position Aids
A lot of the stuff that seems like its made or the kinkier folks out there also works great for people with disabilities. (and sometimes they are the same people! You can be kinky AND have a disability).
Liberator pillows, swings, and even cuffs can help you get into and stay in a position that's better for your body, eg. if you have a hard time holding yourself up on your arms or on your knees, putting some firm pillows, like liberators, under your belly, under your butt, or wherever you need it, can keep you up there in position while you let your arms or legs relax. Getting into a swing will take all the weight off your body. Just think about what makes the thing you would like to do difficult and then look around at whats available that might solve that problem. Or talk to us and we'll help you brainstorm.
If spasticity is the issue (believe me, I know a lot about spasticity) work a bit on figuring out which ways work for your body. Some kinds of positions, holding limbs in particular way, can bring on spasticity while other help you relax. If you're playing with a partner, they could hold your leg or foot or whatever it is, so you don't have to hold it yourself. Be aware that approaching orgasms can trigger spasticity - don't freak out if that happens. Sometimes, if you let it be, it can actually add to the pleasure,
2. Vibrators for lack of sensitivity
I have a neurological condition that makes it difficult for me to feel nerve input which means that sex feels great but i can't feel it as intensely as I used to. There are lot of health conditions that cause this kind of problem. Good news! A very strong vibrator like a magic wand, can help to wake up those nerves and bring out that sensation. If you're not a fan of big vibes like wands, there are a lot of other smaller toys now that have a pretty intense vibration.
If you enjoy penetration but need more intensity, there's lot of ways to use a strong vibe during penetration. It just takes some experimenting, patience and creativity,
For some of us, holding onto a vibe is unpleasant because of nerve sensations in our hands. If you can't hold onto a strong vibe, have your partner hold it if a partner is involved. If you prop the vibe up on pillows you can rub against it or even ride it (like on a liberator bon bon - super fun.
You can also wrap the handle of your vibe in something that doesn't conduct vibration like flannel fabric or bubble wrap.
3. Handles for Masturbation Sleeves
Sleeves like fleshlights are great but they can be hard to use if your grip or hand strength is not so great. Again putting these toys into a liberator pillow like Wanda is an option. Wanda is made for magic wands but works well with sleeves too. There is also a shower mount for fleshlights which will make your toy hands free. These hold your fleshlight so you don't have to. They can work on different surfaces too, not just showers.
These are only a few of the options. We are happy to help you brainstorm some ideas that could work for your unique needs. Call us, email us, or just come in and explore.
*My issue with the term disability pride is that I'm not proud to have a disability. I'm not ashamed of it, but I'm also not proud of it. I'm also not proud of the stuff have to do to just survive that non-disabled people don't have to think about. I shouldn't have to put in so much effort to get around in the world - the world should do a better job of meeting the needs of us disabled folks. BUT I do think that we should all be proud of ourselves in general and never feel like we should not put ourselves out there in the world,