The Satisfyer Satisfied Me
I never write toy reviews. I write snarky posts criticizing things that I think are bad or just plain ridiculous products, but I do not review toys. I've never thought about it before but I guess it's because I own a toy shop. I think my credibility is questionable if I rave about a toy that I sell at my store. So for that, and other reasons, I've just never reviewed my positive experience with actually using a toy, until now. This one was so completely unique that I just had to say something about it.
The toy in question is the Satisfyer Pro 2. This is a fairly new toy. I just heard about it about 3 months ago. Let's be honest, it's not exactly new. It is a copy of another toy called the Womanizer. If you read my blog, you'll recall this snarky post where I mocked the cheesy packaging and horrible name.
I have since received an enormous amount of pressure from distributors to carry the Womanizer. They say that it can produce an orgasm in under a minute: that it's the most amazing thing to ever happen to sex toys. But because of the horrible name and cheesy packaging, and because of the fact that the Womanizer costs $249, I did not want to take a chance.
Then the Satisfyer appeared. This toy uses the same idea as the Womanizer. It is a combination of suction and sound waves, rather than vibration, that produces the sensation. But the Satisfyer has a much better name and no cheesy packaging. It is also waterproof, which the Womanizer is not. The best part of it all? The Satisfyer retails for $109. I thought I hadn't much to lose by trying this out.
I was very skeptical of this toy. I am always wary of toys with such hype attached to them. Rarely does a toy meet the kinds of high hopes set by the marketing. It seems suspicious that this very small nozzle type attachment could make an orgasm happen in under a minute.
I was wrong. This is exactly what happened for me. I turned it on and cranked it up - because I'm a bit of a power queen with vibes so I figured the higher it was, the better. I had to move it around a bit until it felt like it was positioned correctly. And then......I don't even know how to explain it. It just works! In less than a minute I had a very strong orgasm, and then another one followed on its heels only seconds after. If you like quick and easy orgasms, get this toy!
As much fun as that was, this is not really my style. I find that orgasms that happen that fast are just not as satisfying to me as ones that take longer. So about 20 minutes later, I thought I would try it again but turn it down to the first setting. OMG! This took quite a bit longer, about five minutes I'm guessing (probably the fact that I had just come shortly before had something to do with that as well), but what an amazing and delicious 5 minutes! This one was super intense! You know those orgasms that go through your whole body and just leave you with an entirely different outlook on life? Ya, one of those.
I don't understand the technology yet. I don't know exactly what it's doing. All I know is that it does what the marketers say it does.
If you are someone who likes to really engage with your toys; if you like to get active and move them around and use them in different ways, this is not for you. If you're looking for a toy to use with a partner, this is not it. If you want something that's going to make you cum hard and fast, this is it. It's super handy just to keep by the beside table and whip out whenever you need it.
We just got some in stock so you can come into the store and check out it out, or find out more here. I am absolutely not one to rave about toys and tell people they must buy this or that toy, but seriously, since this one is so much less expensive, so much more waterproof, and so much less cheesy than the original inception, I feel like it's worth taking the chance on it. If you have a clitoris, truly, you gotta try this!